Yes, I have loved trying to become a regular, especially as a near-constant solo diner. The validation and comfort factors often easily win out over a taste of the new.
All kinds! I would say the past year has seen me regularly frequent a few pizza spots (Neapolitan is easy for solo diners); a French bistro; a Japanese izakaya; and a small plates wine bar. Time/budget/number of spots has me aiming to visit once every 4-6 weeks.
I love being a regular at places, not because I expect special treatment but because I love to give my money to the people and places I love. When I lived in Bombay for 6 months there was a bar I visited almost every week with various friends, and in the course of those months I got to know the servers well. Each time I return to Bombay I will always invite friends to join me there, and in January 2024 I made it back for the first time in 7.5 years. When I walked in, one of the servers saw me and came over to say "Madam! Where have you been??" and it made my entire year.
Loved reading this. My husband and I are "regulars" at Lulu at the Hammer Museum. It's our weekly / bi-weekly date night after the management meeting at our own restaurants. They remember my martini. The servers know our names. And the manager, Jesse is an absolute gem - always sending a special something, or opening a bottle for us to taste. And I completely agree, people like this sustain a restaurant long term. I personally tag our regulars on an on-going basis and send them little things from time to time...
To be truly a regular in the NYC dining scene , having access to prime reservations is the key . Being a regular at the stable and trendy hotspot means you really have made an effort to show your loyalty and get access.
yeah this is a fascinating chicken and egg problem: being a regular definitely helps you snag a harder to get table, but snagging the table is the only way to become a regular in the first place.
luckily NYC has so many charming restaurants that aren't the "hotspots" that you can become a regular at!
I own a pizza shop that offers dine in and take out, and I would say at least 50% of our customers are regulars (visiting more than 1x a month). Probably 1/3 or more are weekly regulars, coming in (or ordering) on the same day at the same time, and ordering the exact same pizza. It’s fascinating to me as I wouldn’t crave the same food on a weekly basis, let alone the exact same toppings.
First of all I really loved this. Second of all about once a month my husband I will go to synagogue and Indian food (I am Jewish; he is Indian American). It’s not the fanciest or best or most renowned spot in DC but it is very tasty (we both rotate between a few different dishes) and reminds us both of places we went growing up in East Coast suburbs and the small staff is lovely. Should anyone here ever end up at Café of India, tell them Neil and his wife (that’s me!) say hi.
I have both worked in and managed restaurants that had cult regulars. Like culty cult. Some are great, some are ok and a few I have had to break up with.
It is important to distinguish between midweek regulars and weekend regulars. Midweek regulars are almost always great. They’re easier on the staff, they tip appropriately, and if something goes wrong it’s not the end of the world because it’s Wednesday and they just had a day full of meetings and are just happy to be enjoying a martini in a sexy space. They have a different relationship with restaurants and will probably go out a few times a week, so the stakes are lower for them. They may not be super tasteful or dressed up but they know what they like, and they know that you know what they like.
Weekend regulars, on the other hand, are a mixed bag. They are going OUT and they’ve probably been looking forward to it all day if not all week. They are definitely dressed up, maybe they’re entertaining ‘at their favorite spot’, and sometimes they are even wearing a matching color or pattern (seriously). If they are matching just be on alert; if that man orders a steak you know that thing is coming back to the kitchen no matter what and her fish will be ‘too fishy’. Some are great, truly wonderful people who really do LOVE the restaurant so when they complain it's not about the food being cold or the new server forgetting their Diet Coke, it’s the standard they are accustomed to not being met and they want you to know so it doesn’t happen to someone else. Sometimes people complain for a reason (emphasis on the sometimes)! These are often the same guests who will ask about your wife or boyfriend and remember that you’re from New Jersey or that trip you were planning to Colorado. The only regulars who have gotten me Christmas presents are annoying ones.
I 100% agree that regulars are the most important people in the restaurant and often times they know it too. In the end, it’s one of those ‘the devil you know’ situations and it’s always easier to deal with a crazy person you’ve waited on before and figured out all their—call it eccentricities. They are just another guest who wants to shake hands with the guy in a suit.
The two most important words in this business, after all, are ‘welcome back’.
When i worked in restaurants I loved our regulars. One guy came in every day for years. We saved a spot for him at the bar. Always wine, then a burger. Eventually he became my hairdresser.
Once upon a time I was a chef/caterer. On my days off, I would try and eat at new and trendy restaurants. Now, I am most excited when I go to my local diner in NYC. That's where I am a regular - I don't eat the same thing each time I go but I love to say hi to all the servers who have worked there forever. My local diner is my Cheers :)
We’re semi-regulars at a charmingly creative spot nearby, and the owner knows our names. I patronized regularly during the pandemic as I worried about them, and now I’m less regular as they are immensely successful. (yay!)
I would never have the same dish over and over at the same place. I am always tempted by ‘ooh, I’ve never had that’ The closest I get is going back to my home town, which is infrequent, and I do try to go to the same place for a childhood favorite dish at least once.
yes I'm learning there are two camps of regulars: those who order the same thing over and over and those who just love the restaurant and want to try it all
As a former server, I used to hate regulars! Not everyone, of course, and I’ve had some really meaningful amazing experiences with regulars, but on average most of them acted so entitled and generally inconvenienced everyone working. Now, whenever I notice ive been at a restaurant a few times I go extra out of my way to be kind and easygoing because I don’t want to be a regular the staff dreads seeing walk in LOL
Oh yes, I’ve had regulars be SO offended if I didn’t know who they were, be beyond rude if they couldn’t get their specific table they “always sit at” because it was busy, and generally demand lots of time and attention from everyone around them lolol. But also one of our regulars had his celebration of life at the restaurant and i got to waitress for it and I saw how much this third space really made such a positive impact on him everyday and that was so special.
Yes, I have loved trying to become a regular, especially as a near-constant solo diner. The validation and comfort factors often easily win out over a taste of the new.
what kind of spots do you enjoy being a regular at?
All kinds! I would say the past year has seen me regularly frequent a few pizza spots (Neapolitan is easy for solo diners); a French bistro; a Japanese izakaya; and a small plates wine bar. Time/budget/number of spots has me aiming to visit once every 4-6 weeks.
I love being a regular at places, not because I expect special treatment but because I love to give my money to the people and places I love. When I lived in Bombay for 6 months there was a bar I visited almost every week with various friends, and in the course of those months I got to know the servers well. Each time I return to Bombay I will always invite friends to join me there, and in January 2024 I made it back for the first time in 7.5 years. When I walked in, one of the servers saw me and came over to say "Madam! Where have you been??" and it made my entire year.
okay that is very charming and true hospitality!!
they're the actual best! Toto's Garage in Bandra West, Bombay, if you ever make it there yourself :)
Loved reading this. My husband and I are "regulars" at Lulu at the Hammer Museum. It's our weekly / bi-weekly date night after the management meeting at our own restaurants. They remember my martini. The servers know our names. And the manager, Jesse is an absolute gem - always sending a special something, or opening a bottle for us to taste. And I completely agree, people like this sustain a restaurant long term. I personally tag our regulars on an on-going basis and send them little things from time to time...
I love this! A lovely spot to be a regular at
To be truly a regular in the NYC dining scene , having access to prime reservations is the key . Being a regular at the stable and trendy hotspot means you really have made an effort to show your loyalty and get access.
yeah this is a fascinating chicken and egg problem: being a regular definitely helps you snag a harder to get table, but snagging the table is the only way to become a regular in the first place.
luckily NYC has so many charming restaurants that aren't the "hotspots" that you can become a regular at!
I own a pizza shop that offers dine in and take out, and I would say at least 50% of our customers are regulars (visiting more than 1x a month). Probably 1/3 or more are weekly regulars, coming in (or ordering) on the same day at the same time, and ordering the exact same pizza. It’s fascinating to me as I wouldn’t crave the same food on a weekly basis, let alone the exact same toppings.
First of all I really loved this. Second of all about once a month my husband I will go to synagogue and Indian food (I am Jewish; he is Indian American). It’s not the fanciest or best or most renowned spot in DC but it is very tasty (we both rotate between a few different dishes) and reminds us both of places we went growing up in East Coast suburbs and the small staff is lovely. Should anyone here ever end up at Café of India, tell them Neil and his wife (that’s me!) say hi.
I have both worked in and managed restaurants that had cult regulars. Like culty cult. Some are great, some are ok and a few I have had to break up with.
It is important to distinguish between midweek regulars and weekend regulars. Midweek regulars are almost always great. They’re easier on the staff, they tip appropriately, and if something goes wrong it’s not the end of the world because it’s Wednesday and they just had a day full of meetings and are just happy to be enjoying a martini in a sexy space. They have a different relationship with restaurants and will probably go out a few times a week, so the stakes are lower for them. They may not be super tasteful or dressed up but they know what they like, and they know that you know what they like.
Weekend regulars, on the other hand, are a mixed bag. They are going OUT and they’ve probably been looking forward to it all day if not all week. They are definitely dressed up, maybe they’re entertaining ‘at their favorite spot’, and sometimes they are even wearing a matching color or pattern (seriously). If they are matching just be on alert; if that man orders a steak you know that thing is coming back to the kitchen no matter what and her fish will be ‘too fishy’. Some are great, truly wonderful people who really do LOVE the restaurant so when they complain it's not about the food being cold or the new server forgetting their Diet Coke, it’s the standard they are accustomed to not being met and they want you to know so it doesn’t happen to someone else. Sometimes people complain for a reason (emphasis on the sometimes)! These are often the same guests who will ask about your wife or boyfriend and remember that you’re from New Jersey or that trip you were planning to Colorado. The only regulars who have gotten me Christmas presents are annoying ones.
I 100% agree that regulars are the most important people in the restaurant and often times they know it too. In the end, it’s one of those ‘the devil you know’ situations and it’s always easier to deal with a crazy person you’ve waited on before and figured out all their—call it eccentricities. They are just another guest who wants to shake hands with the guy in a suit.
The two most important words in this business, after all, are ‘welcome back’.
When i worked in restaurants I loved our regulars. One guy came in every day for years. We saved a spot for him at the bar. Always wine, then a burger. Eventually he became my hairdresser.
Hell yeah
Once upon a time I was a chef/caterer. On my days off, I would try and eat at new and trendy restaurants. Now, I am most excited when I go to my local diner in NYC. That's where I am a regular - I don't eat the same thing each time I go but I love to say hi to all the servers who have worked there forever. My local diner is my Cheers :)
diners forever <3 <3
What is your go to order?
If I’m in a breakfast-y mood - it’s always 2 eggs over easy, home fries well done and rye toast. Coffee of course.
Rest of the times: Grilled cheese, matzoh ball soup or their burger.
We’re semi-regulars at a charmingly creative spot nearby, and the owner knows our names. I patronized regularly during the pandemic as I worried about them, and now I’m less regular as they are immensely successful. (yay!)
I would never have the same dish over and over at the same place. I am always tempted by ‘ooh, I’ve never had that’ The closest I get is going back to my home town, which is infrequent, and I do try to go to the same place for a childhood favorite dish at least once.
yes I'm learning there are two camps of regulars: those who order the same thing over and over and those who just love the restaurant and want to try it all
yes a few spots
how often do you go?
Once a week, at least.
As an LA native and lifer….love this article. Great read as always!
i like being the kind of regular that isn't acknowledged.
always get the spicy scallop roll, salmon nigiri and iced green tea twice a month.
being a regular on vacation is fun too.
:)
As a former server, I used to hate regulars! Not everyone, of course, and I’ve had some really meaningful amazing experiences with regulars, but on average most of them acted so entitled and generally inconvenienced everyone working. Now, whenever I notice ive been at a restaurant a few times I go extra out of my way to be kind and easygoing because I don’t want to be a regular the staff dreads seeing walk in LOL
ha! this is a fascinating counterpoint, that regulars might get too used to things/people that they become entitled.
Oh yes, I’ve had regulars be SO offended if I didn’t know who they were, be beyond rude if they couldn’t get their specific table they “always sit at” because it was busy, and generally demand lots of time and attention from everyone around them lolol. But also one of our regulars had his celebration of life at the restaurant and i got to waitress for it and I saw how much this third space really made such a positive impact on him everyday and that was so special.